spazamolochi

Hello I must be going

2011-08-07T23:10:00.001-06:00

Saturday Mornings

2009-07-18T06:35:00.002-06:00

The world still sleeps and I am hear listening to the wind of the night on the desert. The shifting sands sweep my thoughts away like glistening metal. Half buried in the earth forgotten memories push to the surface. The weight of life exists not here. It races in the wind to scourge the world and make it shine in the morning quiet.

Chaos feeds the mind and reason traps it in a killing jar. The only order is the circadian law and even that we fight. The pineal urges pulse under the plates of bone. The spinoid pleasure of randomness exists but a few inches away. To bridge the gap from hateful peanut in my mind to the butterfly of infinite freedom. So far the gap fits universe of culture ,dogma, and plodding existance.
Drag your feet in the dust of useless brain pan.

LGG

Sunday in late June

2009-06-21T10:46:00.002-06:00

Hello again world,

Quiet time in the morning and trying to keep the focus of the day. Where to go from here. Daily trappings and fumbling thoughts roll around. The rest of last night's sleep is quickly being replaced by the days heat. The so called monsoons are nothing and the sun bakes us like eggs on the sidewalk. The brief rain of the previous days were awesome and inspiring. The heat drives us underground like vermin. This box offers no reprieve.

For Barb - because she loved this one.

2009-06-03T22:32:00.002-06:00

A Poem for Barb

A seed dropped the earth a favor and it brought forth such riches and sorrow. Dirt accepted the favor and folded into itself the kern. But soon forgotten the seed lay sleeping. It woke again during tumult of storm and in the aftermath gripped the earth with its will.
The seed knowing nothing else pushed forth towards the sky. It feeds upon the firmament and young flexible sees the passing ages. Pushing skyward as the seasons pass seemingly endless in the will to possess the dirt further.
Flexibility gives way to wisdom and the bark thickens against the earth. Time beats bark with a rhythm that we all live to. The rhythm of life wears weary all that dance.
The seed become tree danced flexible and light. The sun in the heavens smiled with delight. All things on earth swayed to the music of time, bark, and wisdom. It danced with limber lightness and revelled in time.
Bring bough to earth as all taxes paid. And the wisdom of time takes its due. Love of sky and light bears upon us heavy burdens. And the dance slows to a sweet orchestra of creeks and groans.
On lightest limb lands a gesture of beauty. That brings to bear the favor once asked and answered so many a time. And between a blossom to a seed fell. And the earth holds the child in the shadow of so many a sprite dance. A log slumbers with a devouring fungus.

LGG 08

Hello again, I must be going

2009-03-14T11:10:00.002-06:00

Well my fellow humans I have been away a long time and have not written any thing of consequence. I am plodding along lifes way. I have not changed willingly and still exist much as I was. I may be this person for as long as I persist. I hide and the world will do as it likes. The waking world vexes me much and I stay out of the light. I wish to be Timothy the tortise and see the ages from my burrow. Winters and summers pass me like days and minutes. But I have been well and well adjusted. Work seems to be going better ,but it has its challenges as always.

end of line

Thank you Celeste

2008-11-11T01:38:00.000-06:00

Barbara's Wedding

2008-11-02T02:23:00.002-06:00

Barbara and Jason,

I wish you guys the best of luck and every thing. I know you two have a connection that transcends all of the worlds attempts to keep love like yours from thriving. Remember that mom and dad have and had it right. Proof is in the lives that they have woven together and that others envy greatly.

We love the both of you and are the family core. Well except me the odd ball out here. But that too has it's place.

Best of every thing to you
Larry

Turkey Day

2007-11-23T22:01:00.000-06:00

Happy T day

Don't have much for you this time guys.

Love All

Peace out
LGG

I am. The world makes of us all that which we should be in the end.

2007-11-07T07:02:00.000-06:00

How would Allen Ginsberg see today in comparison to his life time. Free love and drugs at Berkeley. The world that was in some ways consequence free. The life of poet that embraced every aspect of his comings and goings. Friends that got you in as much trouble as you inflicted on them. Life was very Walden simple and yet in chaos at the same time. A man's goal was his and his alone. The world did not have nearly as much fear and loathe for the basics of enjoyment and personal freedom. The existence of real hate was there but the lime light of wars past still loomed in the air like a smoke that would not clear. The true evils were far from sight and sound. The spirit of war was honor and courage. The coming of the blood and guts reporting with the tactical accuracy of CNN's battle front was the end of innocence for the torch carriers of this age.

Thee the why bother generation has given up, given in, closed our eyes to the real view of this plane of existence. Or for those that showed any inkling of independent thought is squelched with narrowness and constant commercialisms of our modern machines of communication. Head on Head on Head on. The chant of the brain dead and dying. Heard throughout our masses the death rattle of the living. Doing and going about the motions of being. The swirl of life surrounds but nothing impresses for moment the value of any of it. For centuries the greatest minds pondered the meaning of so much of our lives and yet we sink into our filth. The filth that we make is rehashed refuse. None of our minds look up to the goals. All of the great themes have been used up and made into theme parks – Pump up the volume. And I agree that we are disillusioned, lost, afloat in our own mess of lives torn from any reason.

I still believe as come back to this to post here and I have days of days that mean more to me. I work hard these days to get my existence back to a focus. Against the wall and exposed to my peers I know they see me for what I am. I live for real and I miss My boy. These things weigh heavy on this man's heart. In the same moment I am driven to be the rock. Driven as bovine beasts stampeding from bees but I cannot change the thing that I am. The world makes of us all that which we should be in the end.

Finding the internal Walden Pond

2007-11-03T20:15:00.000-06:00

David took us on a journey into the soul of man. I say man as just that not a specific epithet. He probed into the heart of darkness and came out purer for the challenge. In this universality the hearts of men have not changed. Only the woods and the pond on which we build our shack.
Mine was the temple of family and personal escape. But as did my new england guru I found myself in the wreckage of my life. I was motionless lying in the smoldering pieces. Delusional and misguided wanderlust of soulsore. The soil of this existance is eroded exposing bedrock of foundation.
Foundation - home memories past lives that are dead and gone. But the Tejano rooster still crows in the oranges. And the thump of unbalanced coolers spin without time or use for it.

Love lives between the lichen and the stone. Moss dies and blows away.

8:10 AM Blues and Techno

2007-10-05T09:10:00.000-06:00

Goodmorning Kids,

The non events of the assed twenty four have changed very little. Life goes on unyeilding in it's onslaught. The Arbeit of Mein Kampf is good it salves a sore soul. The bread of life is in larger bottles and had it not been as thick it would only urine make. But the twist-off life style is pervasive and the majority by the ways ode read little of their shiny labels. Rice is a grass that mows clean and lives in muck. Its stink enters the glass lucidly. Without , pause to reflect in a detritus filled gourd , without minding the rice tink as it falls. I strive for hops a gaget only rice.

Today I pray for Family and Friends...
I love My Dad
I miss my Son
I hug My Mom
I talk to my Sibs
I work for tomorrow
Peace Love and Something blue and shiny

I can't really follow that better so next time
See my dabble and rubbish in the shrubbery
lughod.deviantart.com
K
Bye bye
L

Blah Blah Blah at this moment.

2007-09-20T21:52:00.000-06:00

Hey guys,

I am out of sync. As in Snafu or Fubar due to my sleep schedule being out of phase. I was supposed to sleep today but didn't so I am exhausted now. But I'll push forth till morning and get sleep on schedule tomorrow. Then all will be good for work tomorrow night too.

I'll make it till 3 or 4 then I'll close my mind for a while.

Good night world sleep well.

Sweet Summer Rain

2007-09-16T17:18:00.000-06:00

They scramble like the rain storm was really some thing. I'd pay it some attention if hail bigger than a marble were falling. Other than that it has been a peaceful day of sleep. Tonight I have to wash clothes and clean the kitchen. Life has taken on a dull luster for a while and I hope that things pick up.
Oh I chatted with a really nice lady online last night. But she was tired. hopefully get to see her again.

lgg

Dog Tired.

2007-09-15T01:14:00.000-06:00

Did not sleep well last night. Work is going well, but I worry about my manager's concerns.

Jazz and Giant Water Bugs.

2007-09-12T22:49:00.000-06:00

The whirl of sound spins in eddies in my mind. The soul seeks music to salve the asphalt of my rocky road. Bugs dance drunk and dive to the depths of my heart ache. Knowing not that their world is a used water bottle in a child's hand.
swish swish the jazz pierces the night and we all swarm to the diesel hum that powers our tripodal moon in four phases.

Goodnight world

LGG

Lost worlds that Fit in a shoe box

2007-09-08T04:40:00.000-06:00

Hey guys,

Yes that is for you my huge following of readers. I don't believe that any one has ever read this garbage. And they are better off for not doing it. Writing it has enough of a detriment to the fabric of the universe. We teter on the brink and yet some comic revenge prevents us from plumment. The abyss waits patiently for the final stupid act the shoves us all in the shitter.

Ha take that Stephen Hawkins; who needs dark matter delivered from the Mc'y D's Mic to tell us the impeding fate. Yes just for you Nic Grandon a rant to reach to the bottom of our port-a-potty souls a pluck a juicy chunk of cosmic shit out to examine (rare form tonight kids). Blue fluid of the ether runs down my arm as I run to the event horizon hoping for implosion. An utilitarian attempt to save our souls from the turd saturated ether that gathers in our collective relief zone. The construction zone of expanding matter in this plane will again collapse and force us to live it all over again in a rythmic pulse the sounds like a toilet flushing over and over.

Done with the potty humor and astrophysics at the same time. But it always makes me smile.

So great things afoot in the business world for me. The night shift is causing me to get artsy ;not that I mind and you get to laugh at it. I'm doing more photo work and reading alot.

William Gibson writes to show us the lives that are and could be. I love the new book so far. Feels like getting back to the neuromancer and burning chrome. Can't wait to get done with it.

I called Haley ,but I feel that in doing the best thing for us at the time has cost us any further chance. I don't know. Maybe the best any ways she needed her shot at getting it together. Even if she could not see it at the time. Me too. Could have easily made really bad decisions during this time period.

Good luck to you Honey and I hope that your dreams come true. I'll work on mine too.

In the back of my head a thunderstorm brews again and I run for shelter. All of the problems of limbo living and waiting patiently to get all of my stuff together. Moving on hold.

wELL nUFF SAID fUR nAWO! Caio....

LGG

2007-09-05T14:38:00.001-06:00

I have no wisdom

Video of Little Ol' me

2007-08-26T19:50:00.000-06:00

Long Hot days

2007-08-26T18:59:00.000-06:00

The new plan is coming together. We are working like crazy to get it done. The feeling is still over whelming when looking at the amount left to get done. But the new guys will be coming on soon. My family is doing well. Still worried about my Dad ,but he hates to hear about it. Mother is depressed and still adjusting to my leaving. She did not want me there either so how do I reconcile that. I am happy and cannot wait to get my stuff here in AZ and settle in to living as I should be. Maybe then I can get my shit together enough to sort out other things in my head. Single and enjoying it for now. I miss my son very much but what can I do. She will be gone with him next week.
I am loving my new laptop. Being free to move around again is really nice.

Bye for now.

LGG

Finally packed and out of the apartment.

2007-07-04T22:06:00.000-06:00

The junk is back in the box. And I am ready to go. Excited and nervous but ready for the challenge.

See you around world.
Larry

Packing and moving onward and upward

2007-06-28T21:43:00.000-06:00

The procress of taking all of your world crud and cramming it into little boxes and toting it all to another place. The stress of growing new roots and trying to not make the same mistakes again. I like the challenge but hate the logistics. Dredging up all those buried emotions about past events. Trying to keep all this too in the appropriate boxes. The boxes are getting organized.

Goodnight

Today * good to have my boy back

2007-06-16T16:14:00.000-06:00

My heart is smiling and the rain may come but I remain happy. Standing wet in the down pour facing to the storm yet calm in my little world.

We'll talk later

Larry

How do ever know unless we try.

2007-06-13T23:58:00.000-06:00

I have met and known many people from around the world. I call many friends. But what of love from the lost and bewildered like me. I thought at one point in my life that I knew something. It was fleeting and enigmatic ,but I knew it was there. Then my beliefs and trust was lost in a moment. I have never found them. May not ever feel like that again. But who cares each to there own. And if you have it throw it away like every one else does... maybe love is dead to the world. only memory remains.

use your head - message of the month

2007-06-07T23:18:00.000-06:00

life changes fast

the present is the moment of clarity before you collide with the future. the past is the aftermath. the all else is cleaning up the crash.

I know I write in odd prose. I am living my life and trying to be in my son's life as much as I can. Or will be allowed.

How can one find happiness in this world without bringing misery from some where else into it. I don't know where or what to look for. Or how to even know if I've found it.

Look I'll level with you I thought for a moment that I had found a connection with somebody but I as usual ran foolishly ahead without considering the impact. So here I am thinking.

Where do I go from here. Do I run or stay the course.

happiness of the heart - at last

2007-05-24T23:56:00.000-06:00

Today my heart is filled with joy. I have climbed the mountain of heart break to the plateau of self fullfillment. Here atop the break I find my gnostic godess. Thin air fills my lungs and clears my mind. Rushing wind makes no rustle in the twisted undergrowth of my consciousness. Here new thoughts grow into hope.

Coping

2007-05-21T03:52:00.000-06:00

Hello again Friends , Romans, Countrymen, something something,

I'd rather be riding and pushing that pedal. I have not been through in a while but none the less time slips. The days have been good and the work a pain but rewarding. I have seen the seasons flow heat and dust to cold and empty. The brain travels to the places it once was and plays the clips in my theater gord. The dull sheen filters the stream like a haze through which the river of ideas pour. I reach out to catch a glimmer of some vaguery and the smoke ebbs from my touch. Only the heavens guide my mental flight to the opal drabe reward on rachis to the darkened sky. The trail ridden pathless through cool dry air pounds the earth with my heart. But in my ear nothing but rushing roar of life.

Rubbish Most certain

Too Long between posts, Yep just plain lazy.

2007-01-18T01:02:00.000-06:00

I have been working my ass off and have not even looked here for some time.
Will soon have more meaningless junk posted for you peops soon.

LGG

Trading Nights for Days By Monday

2006-09-01T08:12:00.000-06:00

6 weeks on nights and I am going back on Day Shift. I have enjoyed the aspect of night shift that it is usually quiet and nobody hassling you for silly busy work. Just keep your ducks in a row and life is good. But Back to Days and the endless scrutiny of the man and the Tit for tat that means keeping the ones not really doing anything happy. They do their thing but the word of the year is micro-manage. Is that two words? Oh I don't really care ; you get it.
On other fronts, My granny is doing much better. Thanks for all of the Prayers. Much love to those that did and Prayers to those that didn't. Will be glad to get to see her soon.

Be good world if you can manage it. And follow your heart or at least till it tries to get your job lost.

LGG

Late Summer Evenings

2006-08-24T20:16:00.000-06:00

The cool air feels good.
No deep thoughts tonight, only cool air.

LGG

Family needs prayer

2006-08-24T08:20:00.000-06:00

Hello Readers,

I come today with a request to pray for my grandmother. She is going under the knife today for a quad bypass surgery. I love my Granny and I wish that I could be there. But I don't have enough time to get there for the surgery today. So please say a prayer to your god for my granny and our families.

Love From LGG

Today is better

2006-08-20T10:09:00.000-06:00

I spoke to my little boy yesterday. And when it has been several days since I last talked to him I get really grumpy. He brightens my world. The only thing better is when I get to have him here. His grand parents are also looking forward to seeing him.
Some day he will understand better his daddy and mother. Today I am better and I am through with misdirected anger.

Found Alive at the Movies

2006-08-19T21:49:00.000-06:00

I feel more alive at the movies than with my own life. I have always been lost. I have never been in touch with who I am. I have struggled through all of my life to figure out what I'm about. When I watch movies or read a book I live vicariously through that medium. I am not crazy and get so wrapped up in these fictions that I lose touch with reality.
I just feel better when I have release from my screwed up life.