OK we're back uh. So this is another post on my blogger. OK so we're back and I don't know what I want to talk about tonight. No really I don't want to want to talk about. OK I was trying to get it to ride out. Write out correction the word period. Had a good day really did the 24 hour roller coaster with the **** edibles I don't know what it is they just take so long to get out of the system. But I don't know worthwhile right I guess. I'm still weirded out is rewriting self censorship or is it your first rawest work is your best edition of what you meant to say. Alright I don't know David you know Alan Ginsberg sorry Allen Ginsberg was one of the first guys that thought of that ****. He he compulsively rewrote his his works his papers um. Because of this very thing he didn't know I don't know if it was trust in himself. But Jack Kerouac on the other hand said just put it out there just put it out there **** the world you know. I hear your best work is your most raw unfiltered thought processes. What will become of language will language persist into the future.

The convergent course between humans and the machines. is there any way of rectifying this without destroying one side or the other because they're going to be and we're here the dogs crying at the door again. What happened **** to kick you out come on in ok. Mavericks here to help us with this crazy **** idea. So we're on a course to become this organ Mecca mechanical not Mecca like those **** or organic and mechanical organisms combined. We're going to have to face this we're going to have to face it we're going to think about it there's no way of avoiding it. I mean we're in the age of AI we're already coping I guess he would say with the beginnings of systemic artificial intelligence taking what we would consider human jobs or human placements of sorts. Do we fight it or do we dive headlong into it if we fight it I think we're ****. Because and here's the reason why I say because it's a tidal force in our evolution there's no way you can fight something that is this ingrained in ourselves to create to do to become part of. Yeah I don't think it's avoidable at all I think if we try we're self sabotaging ourself for moving to the next level the next thing that will be us in the future. But why do we get we're waiving engagements you know why why do we even engage it aceplus yes hey I'm going to pause you for a second because the monkeys are in here.

 A really Groovy time in my life

Ok here it is. I am now on a journey in my life . So this crazy journey trying to figure out what to say about this, my life has gotten better and simpler but still lacks a few things but nothing major um. I'm really enjoying my time with Thomas. Watching him grow watching him become a man. He always intrigues me and befuddles me at the same time. He makes me crazy with the things he does. I worry about his drug usage but it's nothing major . Let's call it growing up in this crazy crazy time that we live in and he's doing well he's a good young man. He has good friends you know Jesus is a blessing to have around he helps keep him stable. But at the same time they're in there in the kitchen playing grab **** and making monkey noises. But for me it's really been AA mind expanding moment in my life where I'm living without fear for the first time. Not fear of total economic crash and disaster and being a hobo. But a period of not having that fear of judgment of lack of success of that general feeling of not being where you're supposed to be. You know I haven't achieved a lot in my life but for what I have done I feel successful. I help people I love my job and the insurance industry. How do I put this, I am feeling as if I'm more on the path than I've ever been. I don't feel as lost in the world and in my life.

So I guess wait a second he's back and he's making further monkey noises. They fixed dinner and he keeps bursting into my room. But I guess what I'm getting at is that I've kind of honed and focused this moment to be at least partly in control of who I am and where I'm going. If you could only hear the noises I hear coming out of the kitchen and the slamming of doors. Sorry about that I had to deal with him and move my widget out of the way so I could see what I was typing. I'm enjoying a certain level of respect am I age and considering my relative maturity I guess. Y'all know I'm kind of a moron. But that being said I feel that I'm well rounded educationally spiritually I'm not going to say emotionally because my brother still thinks so freaking gut Asperger's or something. And now he's in here dust rolling my**** they recorded nice. I'm not even gonna add at this edit this. But it is kind of fitting that it's just a ramble a verbal ramble of my life and my stuff. But II do need to get back to writing and I think I've kind of found my spot you know where my my logical and mental record doesn't skip every time I put the needle on it.

Anyways as I was beginning to drift. I've settled a great deal as far as past stuff. The process of growing older and letting go of stuff from the past. And just generally feeling well and maybe a little mushroom usage here and there. that's new to my life too. But we'll talk about that at a different time and it's a whole other discussion. Alright well I'm sending love to all my loved ones and I apologize for anybody that has to read this crap. But it is an outlet and this is my first time trying dictation windows 11 is pretty solid I dig it. Okay till next time guys and I'm going to try to keep going with this stuff again. And we'll see out there amongst the stars

Precious Times Fading Fast

 

Life and rocks

Writing down thoughts and ideas. 

    The time whizzes by flashing bits and pieces. Tracking time becomes more and more difficult as I get older. The imagery is of my twisted and almost mystical path through this life. Erosion of the outer layers makes me wistful recalling the Smooth river rock parable that was told me by my Dad many times. But Erosion also imparts loss. At what point does the smoothing amount to just loss of what would other wise by character. 

      So I guess time smooths you out but eventually strips you of anything that would set you apart. Leaves you just another smooth round rock in a bed of millions of smooth rocks.

Lou Sing My Mind

 

 

"You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you. You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that?"

Vladmir Nobokov.

I can't tell you how
I knew - but I did know that I had crossed
The border. Everything I loved was lost
But no aorta could report regret.
A sun of rubber was convulsed and set;
And blood-black nothingness began to spin
A system of cells interlinked within
Cells interlinked within cells interlinked
within one stem. And dreadfully distinct
Against the dark, a tall white fountain played.

I love that. 

Hello World,

   I've been in and out of the blogger deal for some time now. Stopping in and posting quick bit on nothingness and the ranting of a lunatic mind. It is a dumping ground for the chewed up refuse of a lost soul. This has been a source of relief in years where the bleed over from my bleak existence had a place to go and settle out. This mechanism clarified and digested the old me into some thing the now me and maybe the future me or beyond could use. I thought at one point I had something profound to say and I still do ,I guess. But not so much profound anymore just maybe self identifying. Some red hand finger painted in some obscure digital crevasse of the internet. Like a cave in France and an idiot at the bottom yelling "I was here and existed"
   Well I was here and existed; now so what. Get disciplined and write some content that shakes the world. Gather my cult following to me and share wisdom, Namaste. No, I'm an Idiot Shouting down a hole and getting nothing back but the echoes of millions of idiots back.