Precious Times Fading Fast

 

Life and rocks

Writing down thoughts and ideas. 

    The time whizzes by flashing bits and pieces. Tracking time becomes more and more difficult as I get older. The imagery is of my twisted and almost mystical path through this life. Erosion of the outer layers makes me wistful recalling the Smooth river rock parable that was told me by my Dad many times. But Erosion also imparts loss. At what point does the smoothing amount to just loss of what would other wise by character. 

      So I guess time smooths you out but eventually strips you of anything that would set you apart. Leaves you just another smooth round rock in a bed of millions of smooth rocks.

Lou Sing My Mind

 

 

"You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you. You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that?"

Vladmir Nobokov.

I can't tell you how
I knew - but I did know that I had crossed
The border. Everything I loved was lost
But no aorta could report regret.
A sun of rubber was convulsed and set;
And blood-black nothingness began to spin
A system of cells interlinked within
Cells interlinked within cells interlinked
within one stem. And dreadfully distinct
Against the dark, a tall white fountain played.

I love that. 

Hello World,

   I've been in and out of the blogger deal for some time now. Stopping in and posting quick bit on nothingness and the ranting of a lunatic mind. It is a dumping ground for the chewed up refuse of a lost soul. This has been a source of relief in years where the bleed over from my bleak existence had a place to go and settle out. This mechanism clarified and digested the old me into some thing the now me and maybe the future me or beyond could use. I thought at one point I had something profound to say and I still do ,I guess. But not so much profound anymore just maybe self identifying. Some red hand finger painted in some obscure digital crevasse of the internet. Like a cave in France and an idiot at the bottom yelling "I was here and existed"
   Well I was here and existed; now so what. Get disciplined and write some content that shakes the world. Gather my cult following to me and share wisdom, Namaste. No, I'm an Idiot Shouting down a hole and getting nothing back but the echoes of millions of idiots back.

This week

To my Annie and My Love,

    Our love is that good love that makes you think of home when far from it. Recently our added family member came running into our lives. Tongue lolling as you came barreling in and took over our already fantastic existences. Annie dug a hole in our hearts and snuggled up. She is a good wiener dog and is everything you'd expect from a Dachshund. She is hardheaded and stubborn. Also she is loyal and the most loving dog you could as for. There is something about a hound dog that takes you back inside to "Where the red fern grows" (Wilson Rawls) and tugs on your childhood heart. We all had that puppy love at some point where the scent of a puppy dog could drive you into a frenzy of heart ache and the need to fill that empty spot where only a wriggling little furry ball will fit.
Thank you to my patient baby who has been wonderful through all of the chewed shoes and curtains and tablets left down within reach. Those things are the magic of raising a puppy and make the settling down time in her life so much better. The battle of the covers in the bed and the jealousy of sleeping between us are of these that test us and make us a family (or a pack in her mind).

Love you Baby and My brat Annie

The Gap from then to now. Too much in between.

To whom it may concern,

This has been a gap. I've been out living and doing things in the real world and have survived. The report is in and here are the ruddy details to confuse the banal reality (or simulation ). So in an attempt to sift the shit from other shit here goes. By the way do you know what the white stuff in chicken shit is? ...
It's chicken shit too.
We last spoke in 2012 and the world was falling apart and it is now 2017 and guess what. It is still falling apart. We can't even get the end of the world right. Or even come up with a disaster worthy of note here. Yes , yes , people died and the people fight and terrible things have happened but deep down we go so what. The patient on fearing us to action via the media is gone.
I feel as if I am standing on the edge of the cosmic cheese brine tank checking rounds of time to see if the new music that sucked doesn't suck as bad once it stiffens. The round is opened and prodded for character that might have been missed in the cheese clothe. Lady gag um just fell apart when opened and I fear the litmus test failed and culture that recently was will not improve into some thing like the good ol days cheese in the frig.
Ok back on something like the track I should have been on. Since then I've lost many who meant so much to me. Lost some that shouldn't have been found and further proved their worthless nature. In all this mess I have found by as if a miracle some one who has fit my fractured mind like a protein bond with perfect attachment. She has taken my worthless existence and through an alien chemical process made me whole and functional as far as simulacrum go. My neural processes have developed an addictive nature and I need her to balance my serotonin levels. None the less she has lit my dark transient  planet  and bathed my ugly little world with warmth and hope that only comes from seeing the sun come up.
weak and watered down crushed milk weed sALAD. If i had words that meant any thing they'd be somewhere.

lgg

PS: Thomas my mind is always on you and I worry. I just want the best for you. The body heals but the mind must learn to fill the heart truly. Without it the mind and heart never reach a fullfillment.